Chapter 7

Every morning after breakfast is a lecture. The whole rehab center gets together to listen to someone speak. Usually its a graduate who is coming back to tell their story of redemption. To tell us all how great the world is on the outside without drugs and alcohol.

They talk a lot about meetings and they talk a lot about God.

I have decided that I will listen. I am here for a reason and I need to realize that my ego isn't serving me well.

Today is Erroll. I can't stand Erroll.

He is the head counselor for the extended program. The repeat offenders. The people who just don't get it the first or second time. He is a hard ass and he carries himself like his shit don't stink.

Why I am threatened by him, I'll never know.

He is the type of guy that will call you out in a roomful of people and try and make you feel small.

Today he is discussing how men have trouble expressing themselves. How society has taught men that we have to be macho. To me right now this guy is a walking talking contradiction.

I lean over to Bryce to tell him what I think about Erroll...

DO YOU HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY?

I look up and his eyes are right on me.

Who? Me?

Yes YOU! Something really important?

No.

My eyes are fixed on his now. We began that fucking male bullshit dance that I have done a million times. It has now turned into something I know I won't back down from. How DARE this guy. Call ME out? Bring it.

Do you mind if I continue?

I don't care WHAT you do.

Thanks.

The amount of sarcasm on his "thanks" was as thick as pipe resin and almost as black.

I sit in my chair and I am fuming. Bryce elbows me and throws a low peace sign my way. It almost calms me.

So King Jackass is going on with his rants about men and how we are always trying to be dominant and society breeds this behavior. To tell you the truth I am not hearing any of it because I want to shove hate into his face in the form of my fists.

The irony of the situation escapes me.

He is saying something now about how men hug each other.

I am going to need a volunteer. Let's see...

I am already 100% sure that he is going to pick me. I also know a little bit about how men operate.

How about you?

He points at me with a smirk. The kind that says "see what happens when you fuck with me"

I stand up and walk to the front of the room.

I want you to hug me.

what?

I want you to hug me.

I know where he is going with this. He thinks that I won't give him a full hug. He thinks that I am the type of guy that might get scared that if I hug him too close our male parts might.actually.touch.

Think again.

I wrap my arms around him. I hold him close and I lean back and kiss him on the forehead.

I wink at him.

People laugh.

I showed him.

He pulls me back close to him and in my ear whispers:

You will never make it. You are going to be dead or in jail. Congratulations.

My victory suddenly feels very very shallow