Chapter 31

There was one guy at work who saw the good in me. He was the head of the home equity department and he liked me. When others thought that I was a little too obnoxious he saw the personality.

He gave me a shot and promoted me. He put me in his equity relations group and my income tripled. I worked hard for him because he gave me the chance. I loved the new job and I loved the new paycheck.

I had forgiven Krista for the Mexico lie and we were again talking and emailing and planning visits. In my heart I could feel that there was something wrong but I was so in love with her that it really didn't matter.

It is always the people that we love that hurt us the most.

I began my love affair with pain medication. I had been diagnosed with arthritis. It started a few years earlier but I really didn't take notice or visit a doctor until my fingers started swelling. By the time I actually went in to the doctor I could barely move the thumb on my left hand.

I started taking Methotrexate for the arthritis and it worked but only marginally. The swelling started in my feet also and made me pretty uncomfortable for a while.

God punishes I would laugh to myself.

The good thing for me was the pain meds for the arthritis. I would take them at work all the time and not feel so guilty for it.

After all, they WERE a prescription.

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We were downtown celebrating a birthday for the new office assistant. The new "Fax Bitch". We couldn't actually use that name anymore because it was a female and that just wouldn't be as funny anymore.

We all went to see a DJ spin and enjoy some dancing. I did my usual bartender trick. At the start of the evening I would order my tall jack and coke and tell him/her to "lean into it". I would pay for the first drink with a twenty and tell them to keep the change but remember me.

Every drink after that would always be leaned into, more jack and less coke.

Perfect.

We all got hammered. We danced and we drank and we drank some more. I got cut off which is a very rare occasion. This pissed me off beyond belief. I hate getting cut off.

Who are YOU to tell me how much I can or cannot drink.

The group kept me under control which was a good thing but it didn't stop me from wanting to leave. They didn't want me to drive so they kept me dancing for an hour or so longer.

After an hour I just left.

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I don't know how long he had been following me with his lights on.

I can't really remember it very well. I was on the other side of town though and I had no idea why. I was going home which was on the same side of the river as the club and only about a five or ten minute drive.

I hate when I can't remember how I got where I was.

I didn't roll my window down more than an inch. When the cop walked up to my window I was already in my glove compartment looking for my proof of insurance. I couldn't for the life of me read anything. I couldn't focus.

You been drinking tonight.

The flashlight is directly in my face and I can't stand it.

Why are your eyes so red?

I look into the mirror.

Empty.

My eyes were empty.

Blood red and empty.

I know that there isn't a chance in hell that I am getting out of this one.

Step out of the car.

I try and step out and am very thankful that the side of the Jeep breaks my fall.

Handcuffs.

again with the handcuffs.