Thanks everyone
**** UPDATE****
If you are just reading this page for the first time I want to welcome you to my life. This website is actually a full book. It is my own story of pain, redemption and salvation through Christ.
I am a drug addict.
I am an alcoholic.
I am a believer in Jesus Christ.
Please feel free to read my story. I wrote it to show the change in my life and to show that God can take you from darkness if you allow Him.
Many people have emailed me wanting to know what happens after this story ends in Russia. If you haven't read the whole book I would suggest that you do before you continue reading here. You can follow the links on the sidebar. Click on the lowest chapter and continue until you hit "Chapter 1".
This whole journey of writing this book was nothing like I expected it to be. I started writing because I felt I had a story that should be told. I had gone through some serious pain in my life because of addiction and I was saved through an honest relationship with Jesus Christ. To not tell the story would be dishonoring to God.
I had no idea what I was writing when I started. I just started it one day and it consumed me. In some ways it has been great and in other ways it has been two months of reliving quite a bit of pain. I have had some rough days because of this book. I have sat and cried many times over writing it. In some ways it was a final push to purge the pain and sin of my past. To face it all one more time now that it is approaching four years since I went to rehab. To face it as a new man, one who has dedicated his life to serve God to the best of my ability. To let it all go.
I have been humbled by the response to this book. I had no idea that I was going to be getting so many emails from people telling me about their own lives and their own struggles. Each of you that has written me I want you to know that I have prayed for you and your situations. Any of the goodness and strength that you might have obtained from this writing is not from me. I can't take any credit for that. I wrote what God put on my heart and I wrote what I went through to the best that my memory could grasp. A wise man named Dale once told me that the beauty I saw in him was only a reflection of his ability to let God in enough to let him shine. The honor in my story doesn't go to me, it goes to God. Without God this story would have ended in a tragic way. The story is one that I hope shows HIS strength and NOT mine. The main thing I did was have faith.
I came to believe.
I am still currently a worship leader at the same church. This church continues to grow and in the four short years of it's existence has planted three other churches. I lead worship every Friday night and I also lead 3 services on the first Sunday of every month. I am no longer at the job I had in the story. I actually lost the job I held for five years three days after I bought my first home. That was a little over a year ago. I had no idea how I was going to survive after losing a pretty high paying job. The truth is that God provided for me. I took a job as a mortgage broker and this year I made about 1/4 of the income I did from the previous years. God taught me how to make do without the excess income I use to have. Money is money and it isn't high on my priority list.
I am involved in the church as much as I can be. On the Sundays that I don't lead worship I take care of the 2 and 3 year olds at our church. I am "Uncle Steve" to a whole lot of beautiful children. It gives me a chance to love on the little ones and it gives rest to my heart that so longs to be a daddy. Like all of us I am just trying to listen to what God's will is in my life. Maybe I am destined to be single forever and I am trying to be ok with that. I haven't dated in a very long time. I am working on the most important relationship first, my relationship with God.
I have never seen or heard from my ex-wife. I did hear that she remarried and I still pray for her and her family. I wish nothing but the best for her. I hope that God has reached her heart in the same way that he has reached mine.
Cozmo and I are the best of friends. That isn't ever gonna change.
Mark and Joe and I still are playing music and trying to figure out what is God's plan for us. We have played together for eight years. Right now we are fully concentrating on being accountable Godly men. We meet weekly to go through the book "Measure of a Man" which teaches men how to achieve the traits that Godly men have as outlined by Paul in the Bible. It is an amazing book and an even more amazing journey.
I haven't seen Lacey for a long time. She did get married though. She married Aaron from rehab! Can ya believe it!! I am totally happy for them. I wish years of happiness to them. God bless them!
Right now I am just trying to figure out what to do with this thing. I think I am going to have to go back and change names to protect the "innocent". I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I don't want to cause harm by writing this book. None of it was meant to be demeaning or vengeful. I just wanted to tell the whole story so that maybe someone might relate to it. So they might see a hope in their own darkness.
I have a few people reading this as a whole. I am getting input on how to best put it together to maybe get it published. I just want it to be used for as much good as God allows.
It feels very weird to be done with this. I just didn't want to carry it out to a point of "boring". I felt that ending the book in Russia really showed how far God can take a willing man/woman.
If you want you can go to my other blog "Following God's Will" and follow my story from there. I have pictures of my mission trip from Russia and stories. It has a day to day of what has been going through my mind since this story ended.
None of our stories is ever really over.
Maybe it's only begun...
With Love,
Steve
This Book is going to be published. I will be required to take down this work "as a whole" very soon. If you are currently in the process of reading this let me know and I will get you the rest.
GOD IS GOOD!!!!
9/11/06 -SteveIf you are just reading this page for the first time I want to welcome you to my life. This website is actually a full book. It is my own story of pain, redemption and salvation through Christ.
I am a drug addict.
I am an alcoholic.
I am a believer in Jesus Christ.
Please feel free to read my story. I wrote it to show the change in my life and to show that God can take you from darkness if you allow Him.
Many people have emailed me wanting to know what happens after this story ends in Russia. If you haven't read the whole book I would suggest that you do before you continue reading here. You can follow the links on the sidebar. Click on the lowest chapter and continue until you hit "Chapter 1".
This whole journey of writing this book was nothing like I expected it to be. I started writing because I felt I had a story that should be told. I had gone through some serious pain in my life because of addiction and I was saved through an honest relationship with Jesus Christ. To not tell the story would be dishonoring to God.
I had no idea what I was writing when I started. I just started it one day and it consumed me. In some ways it has been great and in other ways it has been two months of reliving quite a bit of pain. I have had some rough days because of this book. I have sat and cried many times over writing it. In some ways it was a final push to purge the pain and sin of my past. To face it all one more time now that it is approaching four years since I went to rehab. To face it as a new man, one who has dedicated his life to serve God to the best of my ability. To let it all go.
I have been humbled by the response to this book. I had no idea that I was going to be getting so many emails from people telling me about their own lives and their own struggles. Each of you that has written me I want you to know that I have prayed for you and your situations. Any of the goodness and strength that you might have obtained from this writing is not from me. I can't take any credit for that. I wrote what God put on my heart and I wrote what I went through to the best that my memory could grasp. A wise man named Dale once told me that the beauty I saw in him was only a reflection of his ability to let God in enough to let him shine. The honor in my story doesn't go to me, it goes to God. Without God this story would have ended in a tragic way. The story is one that I hope shows HIS strength and NOT mine. The main thing I did was have faith.
I came to believe.
I am still currently a worship leader at the same church. This church continues to grow and in the four short years of it's existence has planted three other churches. I lead worship every Friday night and I also lead 3 services on the first Sunday of every month. I am no longer at the job I had in the story. I actually lost the job I held for five years three days after I bought my first home. That was a little over a year ago. I had no idea how I was going to survive after losing a pretty high paying job. The truth is that God provided for me. I took a job as a mortgage broker and this year I made about 1/4 of the income I did from the previous years. God taught me how to make do without the excess income I use to have. Money is money and it isn't high on my priority list.
I am involved in the church as much as I can be. On the Sundays that I don't lead worship I take care of the 2 and 3 year olds at our church. I am "Uncle Steve" to a whole lot of beautiful children. It gives me a chance to love on the little ones and it gives rest to my heart that so longs to be a daddy. Like all of us I am just trying to listen to what God's will is in my life. Maybe I am destined to be single forever and I am trying to be ok with that. I haven't dated in a very long time. I am working on the most important relationship first, my relationship with God.
I have never seen or heard from my ex-wife. I did hear that she remarried and I still pray for her and her family. I wish nothing but the best for her. I hope that God has reached her heart in the same way that he has reached mine.
Cozmo and I are the best of friends. That isn't ever gonna change.
Mark and Joe and I still are playing music and trying to figure out what is God's plan for us. We have played together for eight years. Right now we are fully concentrating on being accountable Godly men. We meet weekly to go through the book "Measure of a Man" which teaches men how to achieve the traits that Godly men have as outlined by Paul in the Bible. It is an amazing book and an even more amazing journey.
I haven't seen Lacey for a long time. She did get married though. She married Aaron from rehab! Can ya believe it!! I am totally happy for them. I wish years of happiness to them. God bless them!
Right now I am just trying to figure out what to do with this thing. I think I am going to have to go back and change names to protect the "innocent". I have been thinking about that a lot lately. I don't want to cause harm by writing this book. None of it was meant to be demeaning or vengeful. I just wanted to tell the whole story so that maybe someone might relate to it. So they might see a hope in their own darkness.
I have a few people reading this as a whole. I am getting input on how to best put it together to maybe get it published. I just want it to be used for as much good as God allows.
It feels very weird to be done with this. I just didn't want to carry it out to a point of "boring". I felt that ending the book in Russia really showed how far God can take a willing man/woman.
If you want you can go to my other blog "Following God's Will" and follow my story from there. I have pictures of my mission trip from Russia and stories. It has a day to day of what has been going through my mind since this story ended.
None of our stories is ever really over.
Maybe it's only begun...
With Love,
Steve
posted by steve at 1:50 PM
22 Comments:
"None of our stories is ever really over. Maybe it's only begun..."
and what a beginning you have ahead of you
I hope this will do.
I've quoted you once already today, what's another?
"GOD IS GOOD", my friend!
I'm so proud of what you've done, Steve.
Writing a memoir can be a painful process. But, hate to tell you, marketing your work can be just as painful! Good luck. Let me know how I can help.
Thanks for the "post-book" thoughts and current life stuff.
With all that you have been through, what an inspiration you can be (and are) to others to follow James 4:8....."Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.
Thanks again!......One day, I hope to buy a hard back copy.
I came over from Big White Hat this morning, and started at the begining. I just read the last chapter. Your story is a compelling and powerful witness to the divine grace of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I am so thankful for His intercession and mercy in your life. I want everyone I know to read your story. He offers hope to the hopeless. Beauty for ashes. He is good.
Just finished reading. Once I started, I couldn't stop. All I can say is thanks for sharing your life with us.
what an amazing thing you've done in capturing your journey and sharing it this way. i applaud you and second joditucker in my hopes to read your account bound in a hard copy book!
Barbara told me she had put you in contact with a friend who had published a couple of pieces. My aunt & uncle own some local Christian bookstores if you decide to self-publish and I'm sure they would carry it for you.
It is an incredible piece of work
thank you for sharing your story, and for continually giving HIM the glory.
this is a blessing to so many people, in so many ways!
God is Good, All the time and all the time, God is Good !!
you are right, god is shining thru you.
Steve,
I read the whole thing in less than a week. It has been gut-wrenching and beautiful.
It must have been very difficult to create this work. Taking the time/effort/pain to do so demonstrates your gratefulness. Now, many are agreeing that indeed, God is GOOD - all the time.
Thanks for being obedient to the path of gratitude.
BTW: I couldn't get the music to play. I wish I could.
Steve! I've become so entranced by your story. I cry much and often. Heartbroken over where you have come from and joyous over where you are.
I pray God continues to bless your life and the countless people who are touched by your story.
BUT HELP!!! I'm stuck at Chapter 28! I get a 404 error when ever I try to access Chapter 29. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO????
:) Help me out! Have mercy. ;)
Oh, I am loving the music, too! My son will flip over it when he gets home and I share it with him.
God bless!!!
Hi Steve: I've been reading your story off and on for the past few weeks. It's very raw and powerful. There is so much of ME in there - all the mistakes, the pain as a result of my choices, etc. But through it all, God was present. You are right - He didn't leave me, I walked away from Him for awhile. I am so grateful I accepted Him back into my life again. God IS good. Thank you for sharing.
That made me cry!! I wish the best to you!
Steve - I'm new to your story here but will try and "catch up" over the next few weeks. Just get it published ASAP and make this whole thing easier on me! Blessings on your persistent heart. Be patient with the process of discovery and publishing and all else.
"If we can only keep our grip on the sure thing we started out with, we're in this with Christ for the long haul." --Hebrews 3:14 (MSG)
God is gonna use this.
I have read your novel a while ago, I just never commented. You have no idea how much your words have touched my heart. I believe you will publish this book and you will touch lives of all who read your book. I claim it! God is wonderful isn't he? He does amazing things and helps you through things you could have never done on your own.
Steve,
I wanted to say thank you for writing out your testimony and making it available free of charge. I know firsthand how difficult it is to write openly about a troubled past, and I want to say that I respect you for doing just that.
Also, your blogged testimony gave me the courage and the means to begin to blog my own difficult past. I knew I needed to share my testimony in full, but wasn't sure how or when God wanted me to do so. But through you, brother, God spoke to me to say that the time is now. Thank you for being a tool in God's hand and enabling Him to speak through you in ways you may not have imagined. He has used your testimony not only to encourage many, but also to let me know that I too needed to be doing this. If you are interested, the link to my new site is http://lensofthepast.blogspot.com. No obligation to read it, of course, I just wanted to say thanks for letting God use you. You are a blessing to many, so keep up the great work for God.
A friend and sister in Christ,
Brooke
Steve, I've just started to read your story. I can't begin to explain the grip it has on my heart. I wish my son would read it. I wish I could print it out and read it to him. Or, better yet...I wish God would create a miracle and bring someone like you into his life. To hug him, hold him, talk to him, tell him I've been there--no judgement. He's so angry. As his Mom, I can't reach him. He knows I love him, he knows I pray for him, but his heart is hardened and he has put blinders on. Two of my sons struggle with addiction. I guess I do too (only it's food or spending money). Pray for them please. My beautiful, wonderful baby boys...young men now starting out on their own. Bless you for sharing your story.
Congrats Steve! I'm very proud of you. From watching you in Company as a teenage to seeing that you are a good man with a great mission. Good luck in everything you do, Jill Adams (Byars)
Steve,
I am up to chapter 52 and plan to finish. I just read that you will be publishing the book. Congratulations!! Your courage to tell the story will without a doubt provide hope and encouragement to all who read it!! hp
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